I spent all day Saturday walking around the track and people watching. As a point of reference, the "Track" are city streets that they close off and fence in. Since this is a tourist destination, there are hotels within the "Race Precinct". Basically, the race is like the Kentucky Derby. There will be a race on the track and then a period of down time. Much like the Kentucky Derby, girls are encouraged to watch the race topless and/or naked. And much like the Derby, there are drunk rednecks all over the place that act like they have never seen a topless girl.
FAQs:
1) Yes, I know what Ron White said about "Once you seen one pair, you wanna see 'em all." I agree, but not when seeing them blocks an entire walkway and almost causes three fights. Seriously they’re tits. And they’re pale at that. Which makes you wonder, you’re at a beach and the broad has pale, saggy boobs. Lord only knows what other hidden “Wonders” she has.
2) Yes, I know some rednecks may have actually never seen a topless woman that they weren't related to or didn't have to pay for.
3) Yes, I do enjoy topless women. Just not as much when I am worried about getting elbowed in the face or going through the thought process that produced FAQ #1.
However, this was on a whole new level. Now, with all the spring breaks, mardi gras, racing events, and Wabash Parties I have been to, there have been a lot of times where people have encouraged girls to "Earn some beads" if you will. This is generally accepted within the event space. But NEVER have I seen a man in his 40's go up to a girl in her 20's walking down the street going to dinner and say, "Get Ya tits out!". and that happened ALL WEEKEND.
Anyway, while Jess and Sarah were working, Christina and I went to hard Rock Cafe to get some dinner (Cue "America...Fuck YEAH!!"). I looked to my left a few times to see a smaller guy eating by himself and figured he was involved with one of the racing teams, but didn't say anything. When he got up to leave, he stopped by our table. Now, after the shit I had seen all day Saturday, I figured there was about to be something offensive said to Christina. Instead the guy asked us if we wanted to sit in an Owner Box in the pits and drive around in one of the Porsche Course Cars before the race on Sunday because his dad owned two of the 17 cars in the Indy race the next day.
After talking with the guy, he left his contact details and walked out. After may exchanges of "Did that just happen? Is he serious?" and confirming that the guy was who he said he was, we texted him to see if he wanted to hang out Saturday night as well. We wound up hanging out with him and his friends on Saturday night for a bit and then meeting up with some of the Girls' friends.
So, after this guy talking all sorts of Nickel and Dime about what he was going to do on Sunday with passes to this and that, find out at the end of the night that he has been on a two day coke binge and is driving back to Brisbane at 4am to "Sleep for a few hours". Needless to say, we did not see him at all on Sunday.
Moments of Irony/Hilarity:
1) As with any racing event, there was an Armed Services Display. Granted this display had an Apache Helicopter you could touch, so it was a bit hardcore. It also had survey equipment and one of the Camo nets that they put over Machine Gun bunkers. Combine a camo net, surveying equipment, horny military dudes, and topless women and you get some quality entertainment. Seriously, it was like there was a fire on the balcony.
2) Since the race track is on the streets, they have to turn the stoplights off. They also feel it necessary to hang signs covering the stop lights that read "Not in Use". Tip for the race organizers, I bet the drivers get really worried about making that short yellow doing 150+mph down the backstretch. Also, if someone is drunk/dumb enough to stand there and wait for the light to change, let them.
3) A sign on a balcony saying, "Don't laugh. UR Daughter's in here." next to another sign with a phone number on it. I wanted to make one that said, "Tks. U R Cool. C U L8r" and see how long it took them to understand.
4) In between races, there was a group of ten teenagers on a first floor balcony in prime heckling position across the track from me (I was on the beach side of the track, tough life, I know). Everytime a brod walked by they would start chanting at her in the hopes she would "Get 'em out for the boys". They would start with the color of the shirt, "Reeeeeeed Top, reeeeeed top" with increasing speed. If they were denied, they would chant "Nah, nah nah nah, hey hey, youuu suck." Pretty creative. After a while, three teenage girls came out on the same balcony. At which point 10 guys from our side of the track started chanting back at them. The girls quickly went back in side and were not seen for a while.
Sunday
Sunday was more of the same. I watched the race for a bit, realized Champ Car was trying to be Formula Uhh Junior and left early in an attempt to get the fuck out of dodge.
All told, it was an entertaining weekend and I would definitely do it again if I had some friends to go with. There were some party places along the track, but you can't take booze in and $5.50/beer wasn't on my menu when we had been out until 5am both nights.
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